So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
