if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The air was thick with penises
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
