the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
