We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I think I have vodka in my lungs
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
