went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize