have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
