does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize