then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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