in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
i think im in europe. pls send help
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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