How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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