Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
