So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
