This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
