He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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