Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
