I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
