I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
