Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
either way he was missing a nipple.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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