My first STD was from a foam party
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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