Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
