im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
