I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
