Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize