Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize