Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
