She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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