i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
