She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
