So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
