my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize