But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
