Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize