Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
