Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
