Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
i need some magic done to my vagina
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
