i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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