The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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