If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
