I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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