so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
