Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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