now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
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