"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
this is an emotional support booty call
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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