so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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