I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
