Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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