I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
