Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
