SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
