I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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