The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
