would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
