yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I'm really busy with my period
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