just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
