Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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