East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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