I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
