i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
