I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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