White coat. Heels.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
