I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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