that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
