What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
