Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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