Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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