apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i came on her dog
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
