i love accidental penises.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
