Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
