Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
