i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
