Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
